Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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