There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
