After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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