three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
