My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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