I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
