i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
