I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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