It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
