I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
