either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
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I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
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foreskin is a definite game changer
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart