No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
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You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.