Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
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i already hear my dad disowning me
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
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Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.