She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
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if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
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I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.