1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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