do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
