Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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