I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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