That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
