it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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