She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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