Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i think i scared a bird with my dick
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Randomize
