i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize