Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
