I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize