OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm at about main and main street
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
