Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my shit smells like andre
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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