Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
