Sorry, I don't speak sober.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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