btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
