Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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