Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
