we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My life is pants optional.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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