Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
