take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
