im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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