They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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