i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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