Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
