I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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