Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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