What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
