I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
