If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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