cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
