a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
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i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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