so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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