Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
