I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
