i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
