this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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