and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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