The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
