Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize