I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think people are normalizing furries
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
