respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
