the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize