Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize