I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize