Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
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Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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