Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize