Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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