the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
