I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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