So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
