Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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