Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
