when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
