If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
