I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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