His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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