Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
