shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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