Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
