Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.