Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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