i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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